This has been a difficult post to write. I’ve written no less than four drafts and scrapped them all and have decided to just write without thinking too much about it (Somewhere in Perth, my former English teachers jerk awake in a cold sweat). So without further ado, I’ve decided to move back to Perth. I have a lot of complicated reasons for doing so but they basically boil down to homesickness, finances and family illness. If you’ve been following along with this blog for a while then you’ll have a pretty good idea of how I’ve been feeling. Deciding where I want to be has been a long process and there was lots of mental back and forth. A lot has happened over the past six months that has shaped my decision and I’ve also learned a lot about myself. I’m curious now as to why I made the decision to move with such finality. Why forever? Why not a year or two? I genuinely don’t know.
It’s been a difficult six months and I feel like a different person than when I moved over here. It’s taught me that I still have some growing up to do (Don’t we all?). It’s also unlocked a desire to live and work in other places. I’d like to do some work in Melbourne or in New Zealand while using Perth as a base. Personally, I think I need a home base. I need to be able to feel like Perth is home and that I can fly away but I can return whenever I want. Living so far away from home has also made me realise how important it is to me to be close to my family. I’ve always been family orientated person but the depth of the homesickness I felt took me by complete surprise. My family on both sides of the world have been very supportive throughout this whole process and left me to make my own decision without trying to sway me either way which I have been incredibly grateful for.
I’ve felt some trepidation in putting all of this online. I felt worried that people were going to judge me or think I was weak for not being able to cope with being so far away. Then I realised a few things, firstly, that people are going to think what they want without any help from me and it’s useless being afraid of what people are going to think and say when the only person my decision really affects is myself. Secondly, I am not the only person in the world to have done this, nor will I be the last. People move all the time, across the state or country or planet and then back again. While it feels like a big event to me, I’m one of many. Finally, I have to give myself some credit for having the guts to leave in the first place. I threw caution to the wind and totally changed my life and this experience is now forever a part of me. I think I can feel proud of that at least.
I have got a lot of plans for when I come home which I am keen to start. I’ll still be keeping you posted on here for those that are interested. While I am sad to leave behind the amazing friends I’ve made here and a great job at the Walker, I’m really looking forward to the next chapter of my life.
Here’s to the future which remains, as always, excitingly and frustratingly unknowable.